Don’t Try to Forgive Yourself — You Can’t!

I’ve often said, “The hardest job of forgiveness is forgiving myself.”  I’ve come to the conclusion that forgiving myself is not only difficult, it’s impossible!
 
Forgiveness is a gift from God. 

God exalted him at his right hand as Leader and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins (Acts 5:31, ESV). 

I don’t have the gift to give. God does.  Therefore, I don’t need to forgive myself; I need to accept the gift God is willing to give.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast (Ephesians 2:8, 9).

Jesus has paid the price for forgiveness.

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God ( 2 Corinthians 5:21).

The gift is available.  God told me how to receive it.  He promises those who believe and are baptized will be saved (that’s the gift) (Mark 16:16).  Those who walk in the light and are willing to confess their sins continue to be cleansed by the blood of Jesus (1 John 1:7-9)
 
Therefore, I don’t need to forgive myself. I can’t forgive myself. I don’t have the gift to give myself.

It is a gift given through faith. God has offered it. Do you believe that?

“But I don’t feel forgiven.”

Do you have to feel married to be married? Remember your wedding—the event. After pronouncing you husband and wife, did the preacher ask you if you felt married? You were married. You bought the license. You made the vows. You were married. The challenge now is not to feel married but to be a loving and responsible married person.

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life (Romans 6:3, 4).

I need to accept God’s promised forgiveness.

If I keep trying to forgive myself and don’t forgive myself, I get compounded interest on guilt. I feel guilty because of what I’ve done wrong. I’ve tried to forgive myself and haven’t forgiven myself. Now I feel guilty for what I’ve done wrong and I feel guilty because I haven’t forgiven myself. Then I try harder to forgive myself and . . . it goes on, and on, and on. Compounded interest over a lifetime can deliver a retirement of massive guilt because of the many things I’ve done wrong, all the things I should have done and didn’t, and all the years I haven’t forgiven myself.

Being forgiven doesn’t mean I can’t remember I sinned. Because I can remember that I sinned and the sins I committed, doesn’t mean I’m not forgiven.

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost (1 Timothy 1:12-15).

Not feeling worthy to work for the Lord because of sins I committed in the past, doesn’t mean I can’t work for the Lord and I’m not saved and effective in the work He gave me to do.

For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me (1 Corinthians 15:9, 10).

Do I believe He has or will give me the gift?

Don’t try to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

You’ll never get off the ground.

Accept His gift.

 Don’t try to forgive yourself.
 
 Accept God’s forgiveness.

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