Name Memory Rule

what happens when I don’t remember your name?

We’ve been doing interim ministry more than nine years. We’ve worked with six congregations. There are more than 2,500 people that attend those congregations. Frequently, when I’m in a group, someone will ask, “Do you know who I am?”. The answer is often in the negative. The situation is awkward. Embarrassment is felt by both sides of the conversation.

I’ve found letting people know in the beginning about how I remember names is helpful.

I know how to remember names.

I’ve been through the Dale Carnegie course five times. I was a student the first time in Madisonville, Kentucky starting in August 1969. Besides the Bible courses I took in college, the Dale Carnegie course is one of the most helpful learning experiences in improving my preaching, study, and working with people. After graduating from that course, I served as a graduate assistant four times. I also took the Dale Carnegie Sales course.

I know how to remember names.

The laws of memory are

I — impression
R — repetition
A — association

Six common ways to make associations:

B — business
R — rhyming word
A — appearance
M — meaning
M — mind picture
S — similar name

I know how to remember names. I can quote the rules.

However, I often forget to practice what I know. Therefore, I don’t remember a couple hundred or more new names quickly.

[tweetthis]I know how to remember names. However, I often forget to practice what I know.[/tweetthis]

Let me ask you — do you enjoy someone coming to you, putting you on the spot, and asking, “Do you know who I am; do you remember my name?” I’ve asked that question to 2,500+ people and I haven’t had a person raise a hand indicating they welcome that encounter.

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It’s encouraging to me. Because no one likes that, I know how everyone is going to treat me. We are followers of Jesus. Jesus taught us how to treat people in the Sermon on the Mount: “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12, NKJV).

My rule is this:

[tweetthis]If you won’t ask me what your name is, I won’t ask you what I preached two weeks ago.[/tweetthis]

If you’re in a hurry for me to remember your name, I’ve found that having a meal with someone improves my memory. Feel free to schedule that soon and let’s get acquainted.

[tweetthis]Please tell me your name until I repeat it without prompting.[/tweetthis]

This has worked well. It’s true. I’m a slow learner. I don’t like to embarrass myself and others. People have understood and cooperated.

I’m doing this for myself. But I am also doing this for the next preacher. In some congregations where I’ve worked as an interim, most people don’t remember a new preacher coming. Their former preacher had been there many years and knew everyone. It’ll be easier on the new preacher if people don’t put pressure on him to remember their names the first week.

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