To Leave or Not to Leave…That Is the Question

should I move or stay?

Some of the most troubling times in my ministry was when I was questioning about leaving a church or when I was approached by a church that seemed challenging and attractive. What should I do? If you didn’t read the last post on this topic: When Does a Preacher Decide to Leave?

Some things that helped me think and gain wisdom

 

  1. Buy a house when practical when you move to a new church. Making emotional, relational, and financial investments, in the beginning, can slow knee-jerk reactions at frustration later. This kept me from quitting on several Mondays. It’s harder to list a house, sell it, move, and buy or rent another than to rent a U-Haul and move away on impulse. Going somewhere is better than running away from something.
  2. Take a trip. I had insight when I was away from my home and local work that clarified my thinking about leaving or staying on more than one occasion.
  3. Read Wade Hodges’ book, When to Leave…Before You Go. He says, “The only sure-fire way to keep from being haunted by the specter of having left too soon is to make sure you stay too long. Just don’t stay so long that you fry your system and disqualify yourself from future opportunities. The goal is to stay long enough without staying way too long” (Kindle Locations 112-114). Wade examines the insides of a preacher to help him learn how not to meet the same problems at a new church he had at his last church because he brought himself along.
  4. Cultivate a friend who will tell you when he or she thinks it’s time for you to go. When I was fired, then rehired, I had a friend who told me it might be time to go. After I got over being mad and hurt, I concluded he was right. It’s been forty-two years. I still think he gave me good advice. John Smith story.
  5. Pray before you make up your mind what you’re going to do. God promises to give wisdom when we ask for it (James 1:5) and when we work for it (Proverbs 2:1-5).

Be willing to spend some painful time in confusion before you come to a final decision to go or stay.

What has helped you to decide about making a move?

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(Thank you to Jeff and Dale Jenkins for permission to use this. This first appeared in Hope and Expectation, a work of The Jenkins Institute. Subscribe to their valuable resources: http://www.thejenkinsinstitute.com).

When Does a Preacher Decide to Leave?

...how to know when to go

How does a preacher make the decision to leave the congregation where he’s working and move to another? Here’s the way I did it.

In my ministry, I decided to go…

  1. When living conditions weren’t adequate for my family. When you’re living on a tight budget, counting every penny, and there’s no money in your budget for groceries for your new baby, insurance, clothes, or furniture, it’s time to go. They said they were thinking about a raise. But thinking doesn’t pay bills. When you’re living in a house where you can’t heat and eat at the same time without blowing a fuse in a 60-amp fusebox, it’s time to go.
  2. When an elder told me between Bible study and worship, I should think about resigning that day. I didn’t know how to handle his request without panic and despair. If someone made the same suggestion today, I would ask, “What did the other elders say? When will we meet a discuss this? I don’t have time before worship, which starts in five minutes.” But on December 19, 1976, at 10:20 a.m., I didn’t have the calmness to think of choices and ask for help. It was time to go. Additional information: The Best Day to Fire Your Preacher , 3 Ways I Helped Get Myself Fired .
  3. When leaders decided I had too much power and reduced my input on the leadership team. A counselor told me, “Jerrie unless you run off with the secretary or steal their money, they won’t fire you. You can stay here until you die. But they will ignore you. If you can enjoy writing or something else to feel a sense of accomplishment, you can stay and be happy. If you need to be involved in the working of this congregation to thrive, you need to look elsewhere.”
  4. When I was an unintentional interim, and I didn’t want to spend decades to overcome the handicap. Some of the best training for interim ministry was experiencing what it’s like to be punished for something I didn’t do. The best time to respond to that situation is before you move. The best time to get a divorce is before you get married when the marriage won’t be mutually encouraging. But I’m glad I was able to get training in the University of Hard Knocks. I’m a better interim minister because of those five years.
  5. When I planned to leave before I began. At my last church, I had in mind interim ministry after my full-time work. I shared my intentions before I started my work at Berry’s Chapel. The elders and I discussed this in yearly reviews. We planned in more detail as time drew closer. I resigned three years before I left. We wanted to make a smooth, planned transition.

My advice for elders and preachers: before you begin, discuss:

  1. How long does the preacher plan to stay?
  2. How does the preacher promise to leave? Revisit an exit plan once a year until you leave. You’re going to leave by death, disability, your choice, their choice, or by cooperatively working on a transition to bless this congregation and you. Leave on purpose rather than accidentally. Leave with mutual plans and wisdom of the leaders and yourself.

There are times when someone damages or destroys the good work they’ve done by the harsh way they leave. The best time to discuss this is before the relationship formally begins.

These were not circumstances where churches did me wrong, and I did everything right, and I had to move. There were issues where I didn’t know a wise way to respond. With more experience, I learned from each move and later could meet similar opportunities and encourage growth for all involved.

How have you made the decision to leave?

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(Thank you to Jeff and Dale Jenkins for permission to use this. This first appeared in Hope and Expectation, a work of The Jenkins Institute. Subscribe to their valuable resources: http://www.thejenkinsinstitute.com)

How Do You Prepare Leaders for Major Disruption?

who wants to get ready for difficult times when everything’s great?

A message I received: “Jerrie, how do you…1. Convince church leaders to study, consider the process in advance (prior to a storm)? 2. Develop preachers for the specific task? As those who create chaos do not belong in the calming, morale restoration business, no matter how new or how experienced.”

1. How do you convince church leaders to study, consider the process in advance (before a storm)?

  • Bible study. It’s not a matter of if we’ll have conflict. It’s when and how. We aren’t spiritual enough to avoid disagreements. The apostles disputed repeatedly when Jesus was alive. The Jerusalem church had conflict. The congregation in Corinth was the poster child of division. Churches of Asia had problems. Jesus selected the apostles, taught the apostles, and trained the apostles. If those He taught fussed about who’s going to be the greatest, we shouldn’t be surprised when people have similar issues today.
  • Recovering participants. My observations: more people consider quitting smoking after a cancer diagnosis; many exercise programs begin in rehab after a heart attack. Many leaders who have no interest in learning about conflict resolution become interested after a church split. In more than one interim church I’ve been told, “Before this, I thought we had the perfect church.”That’s part of the problem. Thinking we’ll never have a storm keeps us from preparing for the inevitable storm.
  • Common sense (wisdom). It’s better to build a storm shelter on a sunny day than starting when an F5 tornado is 100 yards away and coming your way. Building an emergency fund is more effective when you consistently set aside money for a rainy day than waiting to open an account with $10.00 you found on the street on the way to bankruptcy court.

2. How do you develop preachers for the specific task?

  • Bible study. Teaching preachers about the Documentary Hypothesis of the Pentateuch and Deutero-Isaiah without some instruction in how to avoid getting in the middle of others peoples’ conflict is like teaching a doctor every organ and cell in the body and putting him or her in the emergency room on Saturday night as the only doctor on call before they’ve served an internship. Everybody gets hurt when there’s book learning without application and practice.
  • Examination, healing, and practice. We operate out of our experience and training (or lack of training). Few of us were raised in a home where dealing with conflict was perfect. Seeing different ways of dealing with frustration and being aware of how I can improve will be helpful. Shouting and pouting are two common, but ineffective, ways of reacting to disappointment.I’ve found it helpful to be in supervised groups where we practice skills of observing, discussing, and participating in challenging issues. I can observe in others what does and doesn’t work. When I feel brave enough, I can dip my feet in the water. A good leader will help everyone learn and win. Personal counseling has contributed to my comfort in working with complicated events. Often I’ve delayed my comments until conferring with someone with more wisdom and experience.

For Both Groups: Admit You Don’t Know Everything — Ask for Help

When Paul and Barnabas weren’t able to settle the dispute about circumcision and keeping the law of Moses, they went to get help from others (Acts 15:1, 2). Jesus taught His followers if you can’t settle a problem by yourself, ask one or two more for help. If that doesn’t work, ask for more help from a bigger group (Matthew 18:15-17).

A teacher told us at Freed-Hardeman, “Someday you’ll meet a difficult question you can’t answer. Don’t assume because you don’t know the answer, there’s no answer. People have faced about every issue. Keep looking until you find someone who can help.”

What suggestions do you have for learning to deal with conflict?

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We’re Getting a New Preacher (Church)

…no, you’re getting a used one that may (or may not) have been made new

I’m moving to a new church,” an excited preacher tells me. “We’re getting a new preacher next week,” say thrilled people in a church.

You aren’t. All are used. All have histories. Most have been wrecked at least once. I hope you’ve checked the accident reports.

I’ve driven used cars for years, saving thousands of dollars and enjoying excellent service. But it’s important to get a history on used cars.

CARFAX furnishes much information about a car and what’s happened to it.

Some you can live with. Some you can’t or shouldn’t. What kinds of repairs have been made since it was new? Were damaged parts replaced with original equipment or cheap knockoffs?

The same is true of preachers and churches.

Are he and his family stronger since the accident? Have they reinforced weak places? Do their weaknesses fit strengths you need to help you and your church grow with your strengths and weaknesses?

How long has it been since the last church fuss? Are you being recruited to take one or more sides in the dispute?

What kind of body repair experience have you had? Do you think the wrinkles will work themselves out? How much Bondo were you seeing during your weekend visit? When will it crack and show rust under it?

You aren’t getting a new preacher. And the preacher isn’t getting a new church.

They’re both used. They have a history. Learn it. Pray for wisdom.

Is this the used preacher (church) you need now? There are no 100,000-mile guarantees. Do you need to repair bumps and scratches you know about and keep driving what you have?

It’s something to consider when you’re getting intoxicated by the new car smell in the showroom and you’ve had two flat tires in two weeks. A new set of tires from Sam’s Club doesn’t cost as much as a new (old) car with no CARFAX report.

A preacher appreciation dinner, special courses for growth, and a sabbatical can improve the old preacher and is less expensive than searching for and moving in a new (old) preacher.

But Christians are new creations. If that’s true, we do have a new preacher and a new church. Our opportunity during the “shopping” process is to learn if this preacher (church) is a new creation in Jesus or an old car where the paint will start peeling and the transmission will go out in six months.

Or, if you’re into restoring old things, know what you’re getting and enjoy. I’ve seen many beautiful restorations. It’s a lot of work, but when done well, it’s rewarding. Damaged preachers, elders, and churches are worth it when they’re restorable.

Some of my best regular and interim works have been churches with the most confessed problems. They were ready and looking for help.

Some churches who presented themselves as the best were the worst because they were either unaware of their weaknesses or unwilling to talk about them and work on them.

Where have been your best sources to get PREACHERFAX and CHURCHFAX reports when shopping for a new (old) one?

Do I Give Foolish Answers?

…if I answer too quickly, I do

I noticed an interim or two ago, I usually wait about a year before I begin giving specific suggestions to elders and others in the congregation about how they might improve. Then I try to make suggestions and not commands.

That isn’t my natural inclination. I like to study, observe, and think. I come up with good ideas. I’ve seen many things that work and don’t work. It’s amazing how similar people and congregations are. I have wisdom that could benefit.
Two verses in  Proverbs 17 are helpful:
He who answers a matter before he hears it,
It is folly and shame to him (Proverbs 18:13, NKJV).
The first one to plead his cause seems right,
Until his neighbor comes and examines him (Proverbs 18:17).

Reflections

  • Have I listened and thought through this issue to be ready to comment?
  • If there is conflict, have I heard the issue from one person or more than one person? Or — have I heard both sides from the same person?…which isn’t hearing both sides.
  • Some things I think are wise at first, aren’t as wise six months later.
  • Speaking too quickly can be hurtful if I haven’t established respect and care for those who hear my observations. I need to give evidence I’m speaking from concern and not cockiness.
  • When I distribute pearls of wisdom, questions and wondering may be better received than oracles from above.
  • Fewer people get offended by my confusion than by my clear confrontation. “I’m confused when this happens. Can you help me understand?,” may be better than “That’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.”

If you see a Bridge Out One Mile Ahead sign and the driver didn’t seem to notice, don’t wait a year to start a conversation.

Many things aren’t that urgent, and waiting to comment can be a blessing to the speaker and the hearer.

What good listening habits have you developed?

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Where Do You Live as an Interim?

do you drive an RV?

People ask about where we live in our interim work. “Do you drive an RV?”

We don’t drive an RV. Here are our living situations at each interim. We’ve have had a good place to live in all eight locations. God and the brethren have provided for us abundantly.

  1. Eddyville, Kentucky. They had a house next to the building. We first told them we’d bring our clothes and computer. We asked them to provide everything else. They did: furniture, dishes, even forks, and spoons. After Gail and I discussed it, we decided to buy a mattress with a bed frame. That is the main piece of furniture we carry with us.
  2. In Hendersonville, Tennessee, we first thought we’d live in our house across town in Nashville. Gail said it would be difficult for her to be involved in ladies’ classes, visitation, and other activities. We rented an apartment about a mile from the building. With $300.00, Gail furnished our apartment with furniture from thrift stores. We didn’t know where and if we were going anywhere after finishing in Hendersonville. We gave our furniture away.
  3. When we went to Collegeside in Cookeville, Tennessee, we planned to buy more furniture. The secretary, Ginny Henson, asked if we would list our needs in the bulletin. Members could loan us what they had. We could buy the rest. When we arrived, our apartment was furnished. When we left, the brethren picked up their furniture and we went to LaVergne — except the Bill Harris who loaned two recliners gave them to us. He was through with them and they were better than ours in Nashville.
  4. At LaVergne, Tennessee, David Waldron showed us several apartments — some he and his partners owned and some others. We decided on one in one of his complexes. He said the only one in that size was the display apartment we saw. We could use any of the furniture in the display. They’d move and store furniture we didn’t need. They moved the beds out and we used the rest.
  5. In Maury City, Tennessee, the church had a preacher’s house on the same lot as the building. We borrowed furniture and left it when we finished.
  6. We went to Northside Jeffersonville, Indiana. Childplace children’s home joins the church property. On the back of that property, 0.2 miles from the church building, Childplace has seven houses for older people. They waved the age rule 😉 and permitted us to rent one of those houses while we were there. Brethren loaned us furniture and removed it when we left.
  7. Shady Acres Sikeston, Missouri was our next stop. Steve Turnbow and Mark Smith showed us several apartments, houses, and duplexes. We decided on a duplex. Again, brethren loaned us furniture for our use during our work there.
  8. We are now working with River Road church 1.5 miles from our house in Nashville. We’re sleeping in our own bed and using our own furniture for the first time in about twelve years.

In every place, with every congregation, our brothers and sisters have loaned, given, shared, and encouraged in every way. My standard answer when people ask how my interim work is going is: “I’ve never met an interim I didn’t like.” We didn’t have this worked out when we started. Every place and opportunity has shown us the Lord and our Christian family will provide our every need and more.

What questions or observations do you have about interim ministry?

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5 Reasons We Search with Our Eyes Closed

why do I ignore what I need to know to make a good decision?

Two questions I received last year: 1) Do preachers call you when they are considering coming to the church where you are an interim? 2) Why do we too often not seek “outside help” to gain a fresh perspective on a congregation’s situation?

Answers to the questions:

  1. Do preachers call you when they are considering coming to the church where you are an interim? Rarely. In twelve years working with eight churches, I can count on the fingers of one hand the preachers considering and being considered who’ve called. That’s been one of my surprises.
  2. My guess is preachers and elders fail to get “outside help” for similar reasons.

Why I’ve Failed to Call

  1. I didn’t want to take the time or spend money to get information that might be helpful. Professional people often charge for advice. It might cost to drive to meet with someone or pay them to meet with our group. Consultation may involve several hours. You can save money and time now by not getting your oil changed. Long-term, it may be a good investment.
  2. I already had my mind made up. My observation: when people check references or ask for advice, they want the person to assure them they’ve made a good decision. Few people who’ve called me checking references asked for the person’s weak points.
  3. I didn’t want to get confused. When I read reviews on Amazon.com, I get confused because most items have several 5-star and 1-star reviews. Which is right? Why can’t one person tell me what to do and relieve my anxiety? I think confusion is a good (necessary) step in decision-making. But confusion is uncomfortable and I like to be comfortable.
  4. I was embarrassed to ask difficult questions I needed to ask. To gain insight, I may need to know answers to embarrassing questions, then check answers with people who see it from a different angle. What if people are offended when I ask what I need to know? What if they ask me similar questions? What if they quit considering me if I ask hard questions? Maybe it’ll be better if I stay ignorant, hope for the best, and wonder why it often turns out unfavorably.
  5. I didn’t want to change the way I was doing something. If I get new information, I may have to work harder, get training in an area where I’m an amateur, or do something I’d rather not do.

Solomon’s advice for getting wisdom:

  • You get wisdom by working for wisdom as you work for money, and by searching for wisdom as you search for buried treasure.

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God (Proverbs 2:1-5, English Standard Version).

  • You need to talk with more than one person.

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety (Proverbs 11:14).

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed (Proverbs 15:22).

A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory (Proverbs 24:5, 6).

How can we encourage ourselves to get outside ourselves and look for someone(s) who might know more than we know?

Looking for a New Preacher with Old Preacher Present

old preacher will be gone in three months

Jerrie, Our present preacher, who has been with us many years, will be resigning in about three weeks. He’s agreed to stay three months after he resigns while we look for a new preacher. Is it time to start searching?

From my perspective, this isn’t the most healthy and helpful thing to be doing during this time. You said your preacher has been with you many years. He has many friends. His resignation will be a shock to most people. People will be sad. They’ll grieve losing their good friend and preacher.

One of the best things you can do for your preacher, the congregation, and the next preacher is to concentrate on saying a good farewell to your present preacher. The church will welcome the new preacher to the extent you have a time of goodbye and appreciation for your present preacher.

A doctor announces to a man and his wife she has three months to live. This isn’t the time for the husband to start dating. This is time for him to care for her, express his love and appreciation to her, to see to her every need and want to make her passing as painless and comfortable as possible.

After she dies, is buried, and he grieves for a sufficient time, it’s appropriate for him to think about seeing an eligible woman to explore the possibility of another marriage. Even though his wife’s death seems imminent, it’s too early to date. His next marriage isn’t as important as finishing his responsibility to his present wife. The happiness of his next marriage will depend on the way he shows his love to his first wife.

Can you imagine a man telling his dying wife in the hospital, “Honey, I’ve got a date with a good looking woman. If you’re still alive when we get finished with our date, we’ll talk some more when I get back.”

This is dynamically what happens when a church starts looking for a preacher while the present preacher is still working. They bring in a preacher or two to interview. People start getting excited about the possibility of getting this good preacher. They discuss which one they like the best. They wonder if he’ll select this church in his next move. They write notes, texts, and emails to tell him how much they hope he will be their next preacher.

They may even get so busy courting the possible new preacher they forget the going-away party for their old preacher.

The best model for parting ways I’ve ever seen:

Five Acts of Dying

  1. Forgive me.
  2. I forgive you.
  3. Thank you.
  4. I love you.
  5. Goodbye.

The gospel is: death, burial, resurrection.

Not: death, resurrection, burial.

What suggestions do you have for planned preacher transitions?

How Do You Put 1st Things 1st and 2nd Things 2nd?

listing, remembering, and doing important things

Have I forgotten something? What should I do first? I have more to do than I can do. What can I put off until tomorrow? Why can’t I remember what’s important?

I’ve studied, read, attended seminars, listened to recorded lectures, filled out time studies and exercises, and talked with many people about how to get the most from the time given me. I’ve learned “mustard seeds” from many.

Here’s my summary of fifty years of contemplation on this topic.

The Best System I Know

Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, by David Allen.

Mr. Allen says the human brain isn’t made for remembering lists. His suggestion is get everything out of your brain and written: everything you need to do, learn, organize, file, and coordinate. Put items in “buckets.” Prioritize what you need to do and where you need to do it. Assemble tools you need to work.

List what you need to do today that’s most important. Sort in order of importance what needs to be done first. Send ahead what you should do tomorrow and beyond. Schedule tasks and projects to be completed by deadlines. Coordinate what requires cooperation from others. Start on #1. When you’re finished or completed what needs to be done today on #1, go to #2. What isn’t done today, plan when you will work on it until it’s completed or decide it wasn’t that important and delete it.

Tomorrow, repeat the process. I suggest reading David Allen’s book and using “mustard seeds” to help you do your important things.

The best system I know for time management: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, by David Allen. Click To Tweet

The Best App I’ve Used

I used OmniFocus for years. Price today is $39.99 for iOS. I don’t use an app for my phone and computer also. I have my phone with me all the time. The phone app is all I need.

After reading many reviews and contemplating the difficulty of transferring hundreds of tasks, I downloaded Things 3 last fall. Price for iPhone: $9.99.

Transferring was much easier than I expected. I cut from OmniFocus and pasted into Things 3. By doing it a day at a time as tasks came due at first and then working ahead later, I finished in a few weeks with minimal time — a few minutes a day for a few weeks.

What’s delightful to me is the ease of arranging what comes first each day. Unfinished tasks appear the next day. When I first get up, I have some things I do every day. I put my finger on the #1 task for the day and move it to the top. The same with #2, #3, etc. I can move each task up or down by moving it with my finger on the phone screen.

What I need to delay or delete, I do that. I move things to do next week instead of today, by sending them to the date next week. I won’t see them again until the day I want to work on them again.

I leave on my “Today” list what I plan to do today, in order of importance. I work on the first. As soon as I complete it, I delete it or move to the next time I want to do it. For instance, early each morning I do my daily Bible reading. As soon as I finish, I move it to tomorrow, to do again. For a weekly task, when I finish it for today, I immediately move it to next week.

I enjoy seeing the number of tasks reduce as I complete each one.

The best app I’ve used on my iPhone for organizing my tasks for the day: Things 3. Click To Tweet

When I prioritize well in the morning and only finish one or two tasks, I know I’ve worked on the most important things. All I can do is all I can do. I’ve spent time on what was most important. That’s better than spending all my time on #s 13, 26, and 53 and never beginning #1.

What’s been helpful to you in getting things done?

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Do You Want Your French Fries — Small, Medium, or Large?

we’re trying out when we don’t know we’re trying out

The elders of a well-known church wanted to talk with me about working with them. I was in their town on a program when they asked to meet. They introduced the subject. I was confused. They were talking to me about working with them as their preacher. They had a preacher.

I asked if their present preacher had resigned, was going to retire, or they were going to release him. They said they would keep him on. I would be the preacher. He would serve in other ways.

I inquired how he felt about that. They said they hadn’t told him yet.

That ended our conversation. I declined to proceed until they worked that out.

A year later, I was with the church in a similar program. Their preacher approached me. He told me the elders had discussed the arrangement. He said he’d be glad to work with me in that capacity and encouraged me to consider it further with the elders.

We agreed to meet in a few weeks in a town half-way between them and where I lived. We met for lunch and talked later in a local church building.

Two things ended my consideration:

  1. When we were ordering lunch, more than one of the elders struggled with ordering their meals: whether to have french fries and if they were going to have fries, did they want small, medium, or large? My anxiety was raised. If they have this much trouble ordering fries, how would they make more important decisions?
  2. As we talked about my responsibilities should I work with them, they were describing in detail how a former preacher did his work: in tasks and methods of carrying out the duties. I replied I’d do a radio program, but not exactly the way the former preacher did. I would write, but not exactly as the previous preacher did his writing. But they reaffirmed: task for task and method by method it was to be the same.

This former preacher had worked with them for decades. He was outstanding. He was a legend. When I was talking with them, at least two preachers had followed the long-tenured preacher. From my information, they were expected to perform as the famous preacher.

At the end of our meeting, I gave them my evaluation:

I appreciate the good meal and the opportunity to discuss this work with you. You have honored me by considering me. From what I’ve heard, you still want ___ _______ to be your preacher. He’s been dead several years. If I came to be your preacher, you’d be disappointed and I’d be frustrated because I’m not him and cannot be him.

They assured me that wasn’t the case. I suggested ways to accomplish some of the same goals using different methods. None of those were negotiable.

If they have this much trouble ordering fries, how would they make larger, much more important decisions? Click To Tweet

Observations

  • Be aware of what’s going on in any situation. We communicate about ourselves by words, actions, inflections, eye contact or lack thereof, body language, how we tip or neglect to tip, how we order french fries, and other ways. Those things mean something. If I don’t know and it concerns me, I need to do more research.
  • Many churches haven’t grieved the loss of a great preacher or adjusted to the ministry of a less than a good preacher. They’re still trying to compensate. Until that’s settled, it’ll be difficult to have a good relationship.
  • Many preachers haven’t grieved the loss of a great work, being fired, or being in an abusive relationship either in home or church. Until that’s worked through, it’ll be difficult to have a close, trusting elder-preacher relationship.
  • Words and promises mean little when words are contradicted by actions.

Many churches haven’t grieved the loss of a great preacher or adjusted to the ministry of a less than a good preacher. They’re still trying to compensate. Click To Tweet

What’s influenced your choice to work or not work with a church or a preacher?

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